Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Gods of the Office

If I wasn't a Christian, I'd think that the gods of office productivity were fighting over my sanity. Thandar (head god of efficiency), Glenna (goddess in charge of "sense of accomplishment"), and Rendalus (god in charge of work ethic) would all say, "Let us give him a fair task, one that will occupy his mind at a reasonable level while still allowing him the pleasure of using headphones. Let us also bless him with some magical tools to aid his efforts. He shall wield the mighty Auto-Hot Key with great zeal. He shall be well versed in the use of many programs and softwares. And let us give him a righteous cube in which to toil."


Grogus (evil god of monotony), Slynos (trickster god of error messages), and Venomica (goddess of idiotic coworkers) have also laid claim to my plight. They have said, "While we dare not directly oppose the other gods and revoke his magical tools, let us also give him repetitive work so that he is barely capable of sanity. Let his groove be thrown off by random and unintelligible error messages right when things are flowing smoothly. And let those around him be struck dumb so that the workings of their minds produce lunacy and drivel."