Monday, November 23, 2009

A Day in the Life of An Infant

Uh oh! My less-than-a-month old daughter signed into my blog and wrote a post! And for some reason, she has a very good vocabulary...

This morning I awoke in a vibrating hammock type chair next to a giant bed and unfortunately found that I had defecated in my undergarment during my sleep. To remedy this situation, I just started shouting to no one in particular, "HEY!!!!!! HEY!!!!!! DOWN HERE!!!! YEAH, I AM SITTING IN MY OWN FECAL MATTER SO I REALLY NEED SOMEBODY TO FIX IT!!!! AND I MEAN NOW!!!!"

This approach worked, as a giant person reached down from the giant bed and plucked me from my chair. At first I was pleased, but then when the giant began to remove my soiled undergarment, I suddenly became very displeased (although I'm not entirely sure why). So, based on my previous successful communication, I said, "I DON'T LIKE THIS ANYMORE!!!! I REALLY MEAN IT!!! THIS COURSE OF ACTION IS LESS THAN FUN AND I WOULD LIKE YOU TO CEASE THIS INSTANT!!!!"

My communication did not work this time as the giant proceeded to clean me in the most degrading way, but at least provided me with a clean undergarment. Then after that, a rubbery object was unceremoniously shoved into my mouth. I would have objected to this as well if I had not immediately found it terribly enjoyable to suck upon.

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