Chips

Has anybody else noticed how out of hand chip flavors have gotten recently? There are more options for chip flavors than there are for…well, something that there’s a bunch of options for. Remember when there used to be just a hand full of flavors? You had Original/Plain, Bar-B-Q, Sour Cream and Onion, Nacho Cheese, and Ranch and that was pretty much it.

Now, every brand has to have 37 different flavor variants of their chips. You still got your old reliable flavors, but you’ve also got all the new kids on the block flavors. And the new flavors aren’t just called what they taste like. No, they’ve all got to have some fancy catchy trademarked name too.

And then there’s the trend of trying to make the chips taste like actual prepared foods rather than just seasoned chips. Things like Loaded Backed Potato and Cheese Burger flavored chips. In my opinion, these flavors are an abomination and should be blotted out from the face of the earth. Also, I don’t think they taste very good either.

I’ve also noticed that some companies that didn’t used to be in the chips game are starting to try and break into it. Lays, Ruffles, Frito-Lay, Pringles, and generic brands are being moved in on by companies like Ritz and Cheese Itz. Pretty soon, I bet you’ll be able to find Michelin tire brand chips on the shelves.

You would think that all the variety we’ve already mentioned would be the end of it, but you’d be wrong. You also have to consider all the different ways of cooking the chips. You’ve got regular style, kettle cooked, baked and probably more techniques that I can’t even think of. Plus, you’ve got the fat free option, lite option, and regular tons-o-fat option.

So let’s do the actual math on this using this totally legitimate equation: B(FxMxFC) = LCO In this equation, B = Brand, F = Flavor, M = Method of Cooking, FC = Fat Content, and LCO = Level of Choice Overload.

These days, I wouldn’t be surprised to find any of the following at the grocery store:

Spicy Mouth Kickin’ Ranch-B-Q Pringles®

Smooth Cheddar Chili Bacon Explosion Doritos®

Lays® Honey Smoked Ham with Mama’s Gravy Kettle Cooked Chips

Ruffles® Short Stack Pancake Batter Natural Cut Chips

Deep Fried Cajun Coconut Shrimp Fritos®

Ritz® Fat Free Home Style Ribs Chips

Ruffles® Velveeta® Jalapeño Lip Smackers

Nintendo® Xtreme Crunch Fried Chicken Stackerz Kettle Cooked Chips- for use with Wii Crunch Lunch game