Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Curiosity Killed the Cat

They say that curiosity killed the cat. And it’s true. Curiosity has killed many a cat. But what most people don’t know is that below the surface of this seemingly common place phrase, there is a vast conspiracy.

It is no secret that cats and dogs are mortal enemies. No one can remember which side started the feud, but both sides remain firmly entrenched in their war. The cats enjoyed a great deal of success in the ancient world, having convinced many cultures (most notably the Egyptians) that they were divine creatures. As time passed, cats and dogs fought each other almost to a standstill in many rural areas. The dogs claimed victory on many farms for their assistance with herding sheep. However, many cats will claim that if they had not kept the houses and barns free of mice, most farms would have been overrun by rodents.

The dogs began to gain ground, however, as the world began to undergo the Industrial Revolution. But it wasn’t until the last year of the Second World War that the dogs set their most successful campaign against the cats into motion.

As the eyes of the world were focused on the War, the dogs capitalized on that distraction. Several special ops canine units infiltrated the top secret military research facilities of the world. The dogs were looking specifically for experimental research and in Norway they found what would become their greatest weapon against the cats: a mind control drug.

The dogs destroyed all records of the drug and took the formula. They then began to modify the mind control drug to induce curiosity. Once the dogs had fully perfected their curiosity drug, they began to secretly sneak it into all of the major brands of cat food on the market. So, for decades now, dogs everywhere have just let the human world believe that curiosity killed the cat.

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