Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Direct Approach

Have you ever noticed that people go to great lengths to come up with witty and clever ways to tell people that they are less than intelligent? Here's a few examples:

The lights are on, but nobody's home.

Your elevator doesn't go all the way up.

You're not playing with a full deck.

The problem with these one liners is that, if you are talking to someone who really is what you are saying they are, then they won't understand your clever little word game. So, the next time you want to tell a dumb person that they're dumb, try this approach.

1. Get their attention with something shiny

2. Quickly hide the shiny object and then make immediate eye contact

3. Grip the sides of their head with both hands to make them focus on you

4. Speaking slowly and loudly say, "YOU ARE STUPID!"

5. Repeat as necessary

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