Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Magic 8 Ball

Most of us, at some point in our lives, have consulted the advice of a Magic 8 Ball. Sometimes the questions are in jest (Will my loser brother Steve ever get another girlfriend?..."Don't count on it"). And some people ask the Magic 8 Ball the big questions (Should I ask my brother Steve’s ex-girlfriend Brenda to marry me?..."Signs point to yes"). Whatever our questions were, we know the types of answers the Magic 8 Ball would give: "Outlook good" or "My sources say no" or "Ask again later".

However, a recent lawsuit unsealed documents that included the transcript of the brainstorming session at which the Magic 8 Ball answers were decided. Among other things, the transcript reveals several suggestions for Magic 8 Ball answers that never made it into production. The failed responses range from the normal, to the slightly odd, to the down right strange. Here are the rejected Magic 8 Ball answers.

Yes Answers

Go for it!

Yes, Yes, a thousand times Yes!

No Answers

Not in a million years.

Don’t even think about it.

Ambiguous Answers

Who cares?

What’s the worst that could happen?

Why not?

You tell me.

Don’t you really already know the answer?

You are stupid for even asking.

Weird Answers

Buy Smoothio’s Cigarettes!

Doomsday is April 17, 1998

Big Brother is watching you…

If you're reading this, I'm already dead...

1 comment:

  1. What about the creepy Yoda that answered our most pressing questions at FC? Who needs the Magic 8 Ball when you can have a tiny Jedi master in your dorm room. That is the coolest thing I have ever owned (and still own to this day.) "See you I can. Upside down you are. Reh heh heh."