Saturday, July 11, 2009

Alternate Nursery Rhymes 2

Hickory, dickory, dock,
The mouse ran up the clock.

The clock struck one,

Which angered the mouse greatly. The mouse then whipped out a bazooka and proceeded to blow away the clock's gears and chiming mechanisms until all that was left was a smoking pile of wood.

Hot cross buns!

Hot cross buns!

One a penny, two a penny,

And the only way that delicious hot cross buns could be sold 2 for a penny is if the Hot Cross Buns Company has a monopoly, which is a clear violation of Federal Anti-Trust laws.

It's raining, it's pouring;

The old man is snoring.

Bumped his head

And he went to bed

Which was very poor judgment on his part because he slipped into a coma due to his head injury. He wasn't discovered until 3 days later when his worried daughter came by the house because no one had heard from him in a while and he wasn't answering his phone. Now the old man is on life support at St. Mark's and his kids can't decide whether or not to pull the plug.


  1. Well done sir. I also love that on the ads by Google to the right, there was an ad for Zombie fan dating service. Only on your blog!

  2. I always wondered about how the family member gets into the house to find their loved one/eldery neighbor? locksmith, steel toed shoes and kicking in the door, axe, a spare key?