Alternate Nursery Rhymes 2

Hickory, dickory, dock,
The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
Which angered the mouse greatly. The mouse then whipped out a bazooka and proceeded to blow away the clock's gears and chiming mechanisms until all that was left was a smoking pile of wood.

Hot cross buns!
Hot cross buns!
One a penny, two a penny,
And the only way that delicious hot cross buns could be sold 2 for a penny is if the Hot Cross Buns Company has a monopoly, which is a clear violation of Federal Anti-Trust laws.

It's raining, it's pouring;
The old man is snoring.
Bumped his head
And he went to bed
Which was very poor judgment on his part because he slipped into a coma due to his head injury. He wasn't discovered until 3 days later when his worried daughter came by the house because no one had heard from him in a while and he wasn't answering his phone. Now the old man is on life support at St. Mark's and his kids can't decide whether or not to pull the plug.