Saturday, July 11, 2009

Raining Cats and Dogs

Marty: "We now go live to our field reporter, Phil Walkadonnerton, who is on location. Phil?"
Phil: "Thanks Marty. As you can see behind me, the scene is one of complete chaos. No one, not even grandmothers, saw this coming."

Marty: "Can you tell us how it started Phil?"

Phil: "The authorities are still unsure as to exactly what happened. Some people here speculate it was a cargo plane destined for a pet store. Others believe that it is a sign of the apocalypse. Whatever happened, it has caused an estimated $8.4 million dollars in damage."

Marty: "Can you fill us in on any specifics Phil?"

Phil: "I'll do you one better Marty. I have here Ms. Donna Landers. Ms. Landers, could you please tell us what happened?"

Donna: "Well, I was walking in the park like I do every morning when a Pomeranian landed right at my feet. I just stopped and stared at it. Then, a few yards away, a Shih Tzu slammed into a fountain. I looked up and the sky was full of them."

Phil: "Full of what Ms. Landers?"

Donna: "Cats and dogs. Thousands of them. I immediately ran for shelter. It was carnage everywhere. A Great Dane came hurtling down and demolished a hot dog stand. I saw an old man buried alive under a mountain of tabby cats. I...I can't talk about it anymore. It's too terrible."

Phil: "Back to you Marty."

Marty: "Thanks Phil. In addition to the death, destruction, and monetary losses, the town of Nork Pines is also faced with how to dispose of all the dead animal carcasses that cover the city, which some estimates place at over 10,000. Ok, now let's take it over to Jerome with sports..."


  1. Wow! I wonder what the "bark"ometric pressure was. What about the hu"meow"dity?

    Ok, I'll stop now. Sorry for that.

  2. By the way, go to YouTube and look for gnarls barkley cover at Florida College. Ira does the vocals and it is outstanding. Remember Ira?

  3. I remember Ira.... one of my favorite entertainers during the FC Lectures Performances. Where in the world do we get these animal scenarios... "this society is going to the "dogs" it's raining "cats and dogs"
    we're in the "dog" days of summer. There's no animal abuse here-- they're getting included in lots of stuff- somehow!!!